I just want to share my life story that maybe can be a spirit, confidence, motivation for girls out there
so this is the song that remind me to loving myself. I don't know how to start this story, actually this is my trauma or my biggest fear. So let's get start.
I have tell this story to my best friends, why I decided to tell this, because maybe my story can be spirit, confidence, motivation maybe for the girls out there.
When I'm in my first secondary school, I have admired to someone, and of course cause he's handsome for me yeah, kinda like teenage girls. Then, I told my friend about that, and she just told to her boyfriend that I like that boy, in that I just like "omg, what's they're doing". In that time I'm afraid if everyone know about that. Then, like a Strom he's answered that "hii (sound like he gross smtg), nope she's ugly". He's definitely making my confidences disappear, I know that time I'm not beautiful, because that my first secondary school, then I'm don't know about taking care of myself, I don't know about serum, face wash. I just know about body lotion thats it. And I spend my secondary without talk to him, or he doesn't want to talk to me because he very shy that the fact I admire him. The best thing that still make me speechless is, when I'm in my high school, I go out with my friend to a place then, this is really ridiculous because I meet him in that place where he hangout with his friends from secondary school, of course I know they, then we talk except him, he still sit on his motorbike while his friends take a conversation with me and my friend. Omg, do you guys speechless? I do, like I assumed that he still hate me, or maybe I ruin his self or am I look so gross in your eye? When I was get down then feel that I'm not beautiful I remember what he said and of course that making me down, then I will playing my favourite song and do a little dancing, then I forget it and be like " right now I'm beautiful" and do make up with my fav song, that's really a good heal after get down.
Then, that still happens in my first secondary school, maybe like in semester 2, where I just admire someone that different person and he in number above me so when there is an weekly assignment I have to seat next to him, then he knows that I admire him, that crazy thing happen in my life again, he act like I'm a garbage/trash so he keep the distances between my seat and his seat, like what's going on earth? Am I look so ugly?, am I look like a trash?, am I gross for you?, that word still in my mind when I got ghosting by someone.
And that's making me always wondering, am I look so ugly?, am I doesn't deserve to someone?. I still can't remove that mind from my head, until one day I learn make up, and make up really change me, make up is my therapy, my therapy is make up, till I got a compliment people said that I'm beautiful. That make my confidence growth and of course myself. And I completely understand that myself is better than others people, I should get myself first. And I don't care they're judging me anymore because their judgement doesn't give me money, so, I'll praise myself for me, I love myself, I love my family, and again I love being women, I love myself!!!!!!.
That a little story about myself and !REMEMBER YOURSELF FIRST!, thank you for all my friends that always support me love you guys ( Saladify gang, Without L gang, Tidamasu gang, CB gang, my special ARA gang) love so much guys, thanks for everything!!!!💓
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